Wedding Prep & Dementia

Mom made it to three of her seven grandchildren’s weddings.

Mom’s third oldest grandchild, Stephanie, was going to be married. I brought Mom to Nordstrom to buy a dress. Mom said she shouldn’t spend the money. In my heart, I knew this was probably the last wedding of a grandchild that she would attend. After being diagnosed with Lewy Body for several years now, I wanted Mom to feel dignified and beautiful.

As Mom tried on dresses, she would confuse where her arms should go but we giggled together. At one point, she was literally ‘locked’ into a dress and I had to rush to the restroom because I was laughing so hard. I felt no anger or frustration. Our relationship had changed but we still loved each other enormously and I had moved to a new stage of appreciating Mom just as she was.

We laughed so hard in that dressing room. I remember it so well and am so grateful for that memory. I laughed with my belly and my eyes…literally a shaking belly and tearing eyes. What a joy!

We spent a lot of money on a royal blue dress from Nordstrom. Mom, with her blue eyes and strawberry red hair, looked gorgeous on the wedding day. My cousin, Roe, did her makeup. Mom was so proud at the wedding. She knew she looked beautiful.

We buried Mom in that dress. When people came to the wake, they all said how beautiful she was and I knew Mom was thanking me.

-Janet

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